BTG 2: Fear

Sometimes the gap seems so large it overwhelms just considering bridging it.  The desire is massive, but how to apply that desire to effective action is no where near your circle of ability.  Obviously these things are all creations of your persona, but don't tell that to someone standing on the edge looking over the chasm.  "Hey buddy, don't worry about that them mile wide canyon.  It's really only a foot wide the fact that you can barely see the other side is all just a figment of your imagination." There exists only one truth, but reality is a personal matter and the truth is to the person preparing to bridge the gap, though in truth, is only a foot wide in reality spans a mile.

So here I am standing on the edge not sure how to get across.  I have a desire that burns nonstop.  Now I must connect my desires with my actions.  Last week when I realized my insanity the first thought that flashed into my mind was, "Why haven't I been waking up earlier and working out."  At that point I saw no connection between exercising and my career path, nonetheless I have worked out both Friday and today.  I decided that I would give it a go and see what happens.

I walked out of the gym today my brain began making possible connections.  In the fall of 1998 I had just finished my senior season of football.  I was a good player and was being recruited by Weber State.  After a strange recruiting trip I decided to pass on the scholarship I was offered.  I was ready to move on from football.  This was the main reason I used, but I knew deep down the real reason.  I was afraid.  First, I wasn't sure I could be spiritually strong around people so different from me.  The second reason was a secret I never told anybody.  I was so scared of looking like a weakling in the weight room that I decided to not fulfill a dream I had as a eight grader.

Now as a first step in a seemingly impossible challenge I am faced with a fear so old I rarely think of it.  Maybe experiencing the conquest of this will teach me how to overcome the fears that are holding me back now.  After all isn't fear the main reason why we refuse to walk into the unknown.